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Top ten creative uses for the everyday baseball bat brought to you by RED NECK BRENT #10: eat it (don't cook it, just put a little dap of mustard on the top) #9: replace a missing leg of a table (as long as it's a wooden table noone will notice!) #8: use as a meat tenderizer (use only after washing the bat and only use on big meats!) #7: juggling (this can be dangerous, always have clown supervision and wear a helment) #6: breaking into places (you can smash glass very easily with a bat) #5: fighting aliens (most aliens are lead proof, so guns won't work, but a good old beating with a baseball bat will take care of everything) #4: self defense (whenever you watch tv and there's "a noise downstairs" the husband always grabs a baseball bat to defend his family) #3: vandalism (#1 choice for busting BMW headlights, and smashing mailboxes in rich neighborhoods!) #2: beating the crap out of people (it might not be fair, but it'll make you invincible and it's sure as hell funny!) #1: playing baseball!!! |
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